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GERBILS AND MONSTERS

Gerbils and Monsters was the only 30 page play I wrote in college, but it still reads very quickly.  This play is about domestic abuse and racism, however my teacher at the time got really into the gerbil so I threw it into the title.  The gerbil also helps to cut through the tension a bit.

Gerbils and Monsters: Work

Gerbils and Monsters


Characters

Hank-  26- loses things all the time

Sarah- age 27, in relationship with Tanner

Tanner- age 27 in relationship with Sarah

Rashid, 25, Islamic


Hank and Sarah are roommates who just found out that their rent is going up so they need a new roommate.  Sarah meets Rashid and thinks he will be a good fit and signs him up for the house.  She then goes and tells her housemate who are skeptical about having an islamic person in the house, especially her boyfriend who is not the best guy.  They spend a chunk of time creating an image of who he is going to be that is not accurate.  Rashid moves in and is a perfectly normal guy, just like anyone else.  He bonds with his housemates and helps Hank find things he loses.  One night Tanner is being particularly abusive and Rashid has to intervene to stop this behavior.  Really a learning experience for everybody.




Scene 1

(Apartment in Isla Vista, May 30th, 2017.  Morning.  Hank and Sarah are looking through craigslist ads in their living room.)

Hank

Did you want to raise a two year old?

Sarah

None of these people are good.  This is proof that library cards are free,

Hank

Well, rent is due tomorrow? What are our musts?

Sarah

All I want is somebody who is clean and respectful.

Hank

And no musicians.

Sarah

Hey, there isn’t any problem with musicians.  They just can’t be loud after 10.

Hank

Yeah, cuz that’s fuckin normal in I.V.  If we had time to put up a wanted ad it would have to say 10 p.m. noise curfew.

Sarah

Listen, Hank, you know, I don’t like this either.  I did everything I could to try to get Greg to stay.

Hank

You didn’t stop Tanner from knocking his tooth out, and now look where we are, this person thinks we need to, “establish times of bathroom ownership.”

Sarah

How was I supposed to stop anything?  You were there.  You didn't do anything either.

Hank

It wasn’t my business.  This guy seems normal, Verrick, why don’t you add him to your call list for later.

Sarah

That is why I’ve been staying at Tanner’s house more, because I knew they didn’t get along, but I didn’t think this would happen.  I hope Greg doesn’t press charges.

Hank

I would, the way he was treated in his own house.

Sarah

I don’t want to hear it.  I was up all night fighting with Tanner about it.  I can’t handle any more fighting.  Can we please just find someone?

Hank

I’m doing my best.  Hey look, this girl, Sierra, doesn't believe in boundaries and that is all she wrote.

Sarah

I get it, but for every 10 crazies there is one possible new roommate.

Hank

Oh, I put Sierra in the contact pile.

Sarah

Of course.  You’re going to be late for class again Hank.

Hank

Oh shit.(runs around collecting school stuff)  Are you going to be able to handle this from here?

Sarah

Yeah, I've got it.

Hank

You can stay with Tanner if we don’t get anyone, I’ll be up shit creek.

Sarah

Don’t worry, I’ll have a housemate by the end of the day.  Ill get Mary Poppins.  She will cook and clean and make our house perfect.

Hank

Mary Poppins is about what it would take after last night.  Just don’t get anyone too weird, and make sure they sign a lease this time. (Exit)

Sarah

I’m sorry! I’ll get someone great!

SCENE 2

(Hank is in the living room setting up a hamster maze  Hamster cage on table. Evening.  Sarah Enters)

Hank

Well, am I homeless?

Sarah

No, I found a guy.  He seemed super cool,  just moved here from New York to go to the UC. His name is Rashid.

Hank

Rashid?  Like from street fighter?  I’ve never met a Rashid before.

Sarah

He seemed really nice and normal.  Do you need any help with that? (referring to gerbil maze)

Hank

Yeah, thanks.  You have to push the pieces together really hard or they fall apart.

Sarah

Okay

Hank

So what happened to Sierra?  She seemed really promising.

Sarah

Sierra scared the shit out of me.  I don’t think she was kidding about boundaries.  We really could've been more selective with the interview process.

Hank

So tell me more about Rashid.  How long is he going to last around (he says Tanners name mockingly deep and with a little flex) Tanner.

Sarah

Stop saying his name like that.

Hank

(Again deep voice w/ Flex) TANNER!

Sarah

*sigh*  That was a one time thing, Tanner isn’t like that.  I don’t know what came over him.

Hank

You said that Rashid just got here to go to the UC.  That’s kind of weird.

Sarah

What do you mean?  He was going to school in New York and he transferred here.  What is so weird about that?

Hank

It’s almost May.  If he is just moving here now he won’t be able to start school until fall if he is a new student.  Seems a little weird to move here now.

Sarah

Maybe he is doing a summer program at the cc or something?

Hank

You said the UC.

Sarah

Okay… but lots of people go to the CC and UC.

Hank

Just sayin it seems a little weird.  How long did you talk to this guy.

Sarah

We talked for a good half hour.  I told him about your gerbil and he got really excited.  Apparently he grew up with a gerbil.  He likes playing video games and smoking weed.  I thought you guys would get along great.

Hank

Well, it does sound good.  But anybody can sound good for half an hour, just look at TANNER.(Sarah throws a piece of the gerbil maze at him)

Sarah

I told you to stop that.  We don’t need any more fighting in this house.

Hank

I’m not causing any fighting.  I’m just sitting here, playing with my gerbil.

Sarah

(giggle)   Thanks.  Hopefully, everything settles down after he moves in tomorrow.

Hank

Wait! Tomorrow?!  I thought I was going to be able to meet him first.

Sarah

I didn’t think we had any time.  So I took him over and had him fill out the lease.(Enter Tanner through door, Sarah has back to door.)

Tanner

So Greg really went through with it? (He walks over and tries to give Sarah a kiss but she turns so it lands on her cheek.)  I’m really sorry.  Last night just got out of hand.

Hank

Out of hand is one way to describe a hospital visit.

Sarah

Stop it Hank.  Holding it over his head isn't helping.  I know you are sorry sweetie. (she turns and gives Tanner a kiss)

Tanner

(shoots Hank a look)  Thanks babe. So what happened did he come back last night.

Hank

Yeah, he came back a few hours later and packed all of his shit.  It didn’t take very long, and he wouldn’t speak to me.

Tanner

That’s so shitty man, I’m sorry.  I really liked Greg too.  He was a good guy.

Hank

You better hope that good guy doesn’t sue.

Sarah

Stop saying that!

Tanner

He’s not going to sue me.  Men don’t sue other men, only pussies sue people. (Hank scoffs, and Tanner gives him an angry look again)  (To Sarah)  So what are you going to do?  Move in with me.

Sarah

No, I found a new guy to move in with us today.

Tanner

Another guy?  Doesn’t this place feel like it needs more girls?  How old is this guy?

Sarah

22, and according to him he isn’t a big partier.

Tanner

Good, cuz I don’t feel like getting a ticket for drinking near a 20 year old twat.  What’s his name?

Sarah

Rashid.

Tanner

Rashid?  Like…  (The “native american noise” where you make an O sound and tap your hand to your mouth.) Rashid?

Sarah

No, that doesn’t even make sense.  Rashid is from New York

Tanner

Sure he is.  I’m not sure I feel comfortable with you living with a muslim babe.

Hank

Why do you think he is muslim?  And what's wrong with being Muslim?

Tanner

Well, somebody doesn’t watch the news.

Sarah

I talked to him for half an hour and he didn’t say anything about Islam or religion.

Tanner

Well, yeah, he wouldn’t bring it up right away, but I bet his head was covered.

Sarah

He had a Yankees hat on.

Tanner

That’s all I needed to hear.  Everybody fresh off the boat is a Yanks fan.

Hank

Can you stop being paranoid and racist.

Tanner

I’m not racist, I just want the best for my girl. (Gives Sarah a squeeze)

Sarah

Thanks, but you really don’t need to worry, everything will be just fine.  Let’s spend the night at your place huh?

Tanner

Sounds good, Smell ya later Stanky Hanky (exits holding Sarah’s hand)

Sarah

(while being pulled out)  Bye Hank, have a good night.

Hank

Bye 

Scene 3

(Sarah is in living room, Hank enters wearing backpack)

Sarah

Hey, it looks like Rashid came by while we were out, he has some stuff in his room now.

Hank

Yeah, he came by before my class and dropped it off.

Sarah

So then what do you think? He seems like a nice guy doesn’t he?

Hank

I guess, we didn’t talk for very long.  I was on the way out and he said he had more errands to run.  He also asked about getting a key.

Sarah

Did Greg leave his?

Hank

No.

Sarah

Okay. I’ll get another key… Is that it?

Hank

What?

Sarah

A new person moved in and you just grunted at him like a Neanderthal?  Do men not know how to talk?

Hank

We talked just fine, but there wasn’t a whole lot of time.  It was like a speed date, but I live with the guy now.  Hi, Rashid.  Bye, Rashid.  Want to grab dinner tonight Rashid?

Sarah

You two are getting dinner?

Hank

You’re more than welcome to come, I just figured you were spending the night with TANNER.

Sarah

I’ve noticed you only say his name like that when he isn’t around.

Hank

Yeah, no shit. I’m also your only roommate who still has all of his teeth.

Sarah

Stop talking about Tanner like he is some kind of animal.

Hank

He is some kind of animal Sarah.  He should be in a zoo, with all the shit he throws around.

Sarah

You don’t know him like I do.  (Hank starts to do monkey impressions) He is a sweetheart and..

Hank

(monkey noises) OOhh ooh ah ah oooh ooh 

Sarah

It isn’t funny.  Nobody thinks this is funny.  (Hank smiling, beats his chest like a dominant gorrilla and walked over and gently pushes Sarahs arm.)  OWW!

Hank

What?  I barely touched you, stop being dramatic.

Sarah

It wasn’t you, I have a bruise there.

Hank

Really?  (Sarah uncovers her arm to reveal a massive bruise) Holy shit, what happened?

Sarah

I don’t know, I just noticed it a couple days ago, maybe I slept on my arm weird or something.

Hank

It looks like somebody smashed your  arm with a metal bat.

Sarah

Maybe I need more iron.

Hank

Maybe…but it looks a lot worse than that.

(Tanner enters)

Tanner

A lot worse? The new guy giving you problems already?

Hank

I’ve got to go feed Play-Doh.( Hanks exits toward room)

Tanner

Hey, Sarah. (gives her a hug and kiss) What’s going on? The new guy here?

Sarah

Hey.  Yeah, he dropped some stuff off earlier. (Tanner starts heading offstage after Hank) Where are you going?

Tanner

I’ve got to check it out. (Goes offstage and quickly returns.)  Did you have a homeless man move in?

Sarah

What?

Tanner

He doesn’t have shit.  The dude has two backpacks and a sleeping bag on the floor.  I’ve seen hobos with more shit in their carts.

Sarah

Maybe he has more things, who knows?

Tanner

All I know is that people who don’t have shit, steal shit.  

(Hank returns) Ain’t that right Hanky?

Hank

Yeah, sure. Whatever.  Are you two going to come out tonight?

Tanner

Huh?

Sarah

Oh right.  Hank thought it might be a good idea to all get dinner together tonight and I thought/

Tanner

No, not tonight I’m tired.

Sarah

I thought it might be good to meet each other.

Tanner

Maybe some other time.

Hank

Come on, man.  It’s Rashid’s first night and you two never come out anymore.

Tanner

And I don’t want to come out tonight.  Why are you all up in our case?

Sarah

No, it’s fine, there are going to be plenty of other nights.

(Rashid enters)

Rashid

Hey .

(Tanner puts a possessive arm around Sarah and brings her with him while he goes and shakes Rashid’s hand)

Tanner

Hi. I’m Tanner.  I believe you already met my girlfriend Sarah.

Rashid

Hi, Yes, I have. I’m Rashid.  Nice to meet you.

Tanner

(To Sarah)  I’ll be in the car. (Exits)

Rashid

Hey wait..Hey, Hank and I talked about maybe getting dinner tonight. Would you and your boyfriend like to join us?

Sarah

I would, but we are really busy tonight. (Hank scoffs)  Some other time?

Rashid

Yeah. of course. (Sarah starts to leave.)  Have a good night.

Sarah

(Over her shoulder) You too guys. G’night. (exit)

Hank

You ready to eat?

Rashid

Yeah, sure.  Is everything alright?

Hank

You don’t even want to know… (Both exit)


Scene 4

(Rashid and Hank are searching around the living room)

Rashid

For the last time, they are not bringing back the szechuan nugget sauce.

Hank

Have you seen the new episode of Rick and Morty? They have a big enough following that they could make McDonald's do it.  They even made a new commercial for the alien movie.

Rashid

How do you even remember this sauce. It’s a McDonalds promotion from when you were like 6.

Hank

Ahh, 6.   My glory days for McNugget eating.

Rashid

Are you sure that PlayDoh isn’t in your room?

Hank

That was the first place I looked, he isn’t in any of his usual spots.

Rashid

Are you sure he didn’t go outside?

Hank

Of course not, he knows better than to go outside, he would die out there.

Rashid

Dude, I love gerbils too, but they don’t know to respond to their own names, I doubt it has the awareness to stay inside.

(Hank starts tearing up the living room looking for PlayDoh)

Stop. Calm down.  If he is in here you are just scaring him.

Hank

(Hank is hyperventilating) He is here, he has to be here.  The door is closed. He has to be.

Rashid

He probably is here.  We are probably just scaring him with our thrashing around.  Why don’t we make him come to us, put a little food out in each room for him to come eat.

Hank

Yeah, okay. Lets. (Hank goes to his room and returns with a scoop of gerbil food that he tosses on the floor.  Rashid goes to sit down on couch) WAIT! Make sure he isn’t under those cushions, don’t crush the poor fella.

Rashid

(Checks under cushions and sits) We already checked here remember.   Take a breath, everything will be okay.

Hank

(still looking around) I know, I just hate when he is missing, it stresses me out.

Rashid

How often does PlayDoh escape?

Hank

IT’s not my fault, all the gerbil equipment people sell are made of crappy plastic.  A strong breeze once knocked over his maze like a house of cards.

Rashid

You're making me nervous with all of this pacing, just sit down for a second will ya?

Hank

(Sits)  Yeah,  Last time he went missing like this was in high school.  I took my gerbil to school.

Rashid

Everyday?

Hank

No, not everyday, I’m not a weirdo.  Playdoh was sick and the vet was half a block from the school.  I was supposed to take him after class but he got out and I couldn’t find him for hours.

Rashid

Yeah, but you did find him, so happily ever after.

Hank

Kind of.  There was this kid in my class, Evan.  He was a real dick always picking on people.  PlayDoh had gotten into his backpack and, I told you he was sick at the time right? Yeah, well he made a real mess in their, so when Evan found him he threw him straight across the room.

Rashid

Oh shit.

Hank

Yeah…. When the principal returned him to me he was covered in shit and had a broken leg.

Rashid

Poor Playdoh.

Gerbils and Monsters: Text

Hank

It was really traumatizing, I was just standing their bawling with Playdoh whining and walking in circles.

Rashid

Okay, it's okay, just breath. I’m sure Playdoh will come out right in front of us when he gets hungry.  Here, (Picks up two video game controllers), distract yourself while we wait for him to show up.

Hank

Alright

(Use of music and lighting to show the advancement of time here while they play videogames.  Both actors can quickly go from victorious to defeated poses as time progresses)


Rashid

Alright, you win.  That’s all the gaming I can handle for the moment.

Hank

What?  But you almost won that time.  You can’t quit when it is so close.

Rashid

Dude, it has been 3 hours, we should do something else.  I’m getting hungry.

Hank

But, Playdoh isn’t here yet.  (Runs to his room and back)  He hasn’t touched the food in their either.

Rashid

Maybe he isn’t hungry yet.

Hank

He must have been hungry by now.  We are hungry by now… He got outside didn’t he?

Rashid

Maybe… he might still be inside though, give the plan a little more time.

Hank

There is no time, I’ve got to make fliers, hand them out to everyone.  I’ve got a great picture to put on it, he looks like a model.

Rashid

I don’t think that will work.  Most people can’t tell the difference between a gerbil and a mouse, it isn’t like PLaydoh has a collar. 

Hank

But…. but he can’t be gone…. He cant be.

Rashid

Hold on, (Gets laptop)  I’ll post on Free and For Sale, that will be better than handing out a hundred fliers.

(Hank is silently crying to himself, Rashid noticed this and gets up and walks over and gives him a hug, upon being embraced, Hank starts to cry audibly)

Hank

I’m so sorry, its just.. There are no good ways for him to go out there.  Carried away by a hawk (Sob), run over by a car.

Rashid

Just breathe man, everything will be okay.

(Hank bawles loudly as Sarah enters holding PLaydoh)

Sarah

Hey Hank, Playdoh was in the driveway eating our plants, (Noticing crying and embrace) Everything alright fellas?

Hank

PLAYDOH (Hank retrieves his gerbil ) Oh thank you, thank you, thank you.  (Give Sarah a big hug)

Sarah

Is everything alright?  Were you crying?

Rashid

Everything is fine, we were looking for Playdoh and then we started talking politics, and it’s just so gosh darn depressing.

Hank

Yeah (sniffle) fuckin politics.

(End Scene)

Scene 5


(Hank and Rashid are on stage in dim light, there are some beer bottles scattered around)

(Voiceover from Sarah)

Sarah

Mom, stop.  No, Mom, you said you wouldn’t tell Dad.  It wasn’t aimed at me.  It was an accident.  No, I’m not in danger Mom!  I was overreacting too, it isn’t all Tanner’s fault. Stop saying that, it isn't going to happen again.


(Loud knocking on door, lights up, all characters are slightly innebrieated)


Hank

Who the fuck could that be at this hour?


Rashid

(Gets up and goes to door)  

I don’t know, here’s hoping for hot coeds.

(Opens door and Tanner busts in.  Tanner is sweaty with cuts on his legs)


Tanner

Is Sarah here?

Hank

You’re not hot coeds/

Rashid

No, we thought she was out with you tonight.


Tanner

Fuck (sits down) Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Hank

Something wrong?

Tanner

I need to see Sarah. ..  God damnit!

Rashid

Take a breath man, here (offers him a beer, Tanner takes the beer and begins chugging it)

Hank

Hey, slow down, that’s a good beer, enjoy it.

(Tanner slumps down into a chair and begins to sob.  Hank and Rashid stand there uncomfortably, then Hank takes a drink from his beer, then Rashid takes a drink, then Hank again, they exchange a glance, then Rashid takes a big slug from his beer.)

Rashid

Take a breath man, whats wrong?

(Tanner continues to sob)

Hank

I’ll call Sarah (does so)

Rashid

Everything is okay man, calm down.

Tanner

It’s not okay, its not fuckin okay.

Rashid

What happened?

Tanner

We had a fight and she ran off.  How am I supposed to apologize if she won’t talk to me.

Hank

She didn’t answer her phone.

Rashid

Tanner, what happened?

Tanner

We were at Dublin’s having a nice time and then eveything went to shit.  Sarah got mad at me for flirting, and I wasn’t even fucking flirting.  Does she think I’m going to be trying to pick up girls right in fuckin front of her.  I was just drinking and talking to people and then she freaked out at me. We went back to my place and she is just yelling at me and yelling at me, and….AHH God Damn it!!

Hank

(Rashid goes and gets him some water) Dude, calm down.  Just breath. What happened?

Tanner

(Rashid hands him water) Why the hell are you handing me this.

Rashid

Because you’re sweating.. Profusely.

Tanner

Fine

Rashid

So what happened next?

Tanner

(Stands up)  Why am I even talking to you guys right now.  I need to find Sarah.

Rashid

Well, it seems like your are in the place she is most likely to go.  If you tell us what happened we will help you find her.

Tanner

(Walks off through door and yells from outside) SARAH!  SARAH!!! (continues yelling offstage)

Hank

Do you think he hurt her?

Rashid

I don’t know, and I don’t want to jump to any conclusions.  TANNER GET BACK IN HERE!

Tanner

(reenters)  WHAT!

Rashid

You’re scaring us dude, what happened? Why did she run away.

Tanner

Can you call her again?

Hank

Once you tell us what happened?

Tanner

(Sits down) She was yelling at me and yelling, and I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t do anything wrong and she is freaking out and yelling at me and slapping at me

Hank

Did you fuckin hit her?

Tanner

No, I didn’t hit her.  I would never hit a girl, what the fuck kind of monster do you think I am?

Rashid

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT HAPPENED!

Tanner

I don’t know what I was thinking, but with all the yelling and the slapping I lost my head...  I flipped my end table and the vase shattered.  Most of it came back and cut me (gestures to legs) but some cut her and she screamed… and the look she gave me, right before she ran.  I can still see it.  Every time I close my eyes I see it.  Terror and Panic, like she didn’t even know who I was.  It’s haunting me.  I need to apologize.  I just have to apologize. (sobbing again)

(Rashid and Hank stand uncomfortably for a beat)

Rashid

So everyone is okay?

Tanner

Yeah, I didn’t really see what happened to her, I just saw her eyes and then she was gone.

Hank

Well, why didn’t you just follow the trail of blood.

Tanner

Fuck you Hank (STands up and shoves Hank)  I don’t have time for you assholes. (Exits)

Hank

(From ground)  I”M ALRIGHT!

Rashid

(Rashid goes and gives him a hand up)  Dude, *chuckle* you’re a moron.

Hank

He’s gone, isn’t he?

Rashid

Come on, we should try to find Sarah.

Hank

What if she comes home?

Rashid

She’s got a key.

Hank

Alright (Goes and slams the rest of his beer) Lets go. (Both Exit)



Scene 6

(Sarah and Hank in living room, Playdough is in his cage on the table)

Sarah

Will you shut up, Hank!  I’m so sick of you talking shit all the time.  Just let it go. Holy shit!

Hank

Well, I’m sick of him coming over and causing problem.  Is he ever happy?  He seems angry at the world every time I see him.  And He won’t stop with all the stupid fuckin nicknames.

Sarah

Maybe he would be in a better mood if every time he came over he didn’t have to expect sarcastic little comments.  You treat him like a monster and then get upset when he doesn’t like you.

Hank

I treat him like a monster because he is one.  Do you not remember seeing Greg’s tooth come out of his face?  How can you still say he is a great guy?

Sarah

He isn’t perfect, okay?  Are you happy now?

Hank

Do I look happy?  The other night we thought you were really hurt.  

Sarah

I’m fine.  I was never hurt.

Hank

You’re legs are still cut up! How can you say you are fine? and then you had the big bruise on your arm, and no one ever sees you anymore.  Whats up with that?  You don’t get to have friends because you're spending all your time with TANNER.

Sarah

Shut up Hank!  I don’t need this from you. Just shut up!

(awkward beat)

Hank

I’m just sayin…

Sarah

I know you’re “just sayin”.  I fuckin get it OKAY!

Hank

Okay… okay.

(awkward beat)

(Rashid enters)

Rashid

Hey guys, how’s it hanging?

Sarah

Good, are we still on for dinner tonight?

Rashid

Yeah, I’ve been looking forward to it.  What do you guys feel like?

Hank

I don’t care as long as it comes with a beer.

Sarah

Pizza My Heart?

Rashid

Sounds perfect, let me just change real fast.

(Tanner bursts in waving a piece of paper)

Tanner

You see this shit?  What the fuck is wrong with the world?

Hank

Is he coming to dinner?

Sarah

What is it Tanner?

Tanner

That piece of shit is pressing charges.  I have to appear in court for assault.

Hank

Well, yeah.  This is a surprise to you? You knocked his teeth out.

Tanner

What Hank! Did you tell him to do it?  I bet that’s what happened, he went crying to his Hanky and you told him to press charges.  Didn’t you! Didn’t you, you son of a bitch.

Hank

What the fuck.  NO.

Rashid

Hey, Hank didn’t do anything.  You punched a guy.

Tanner

Shut up Rashid.  You weren’t there, god damn it.  Greg was being a piece of shit and provoked me.  I was within my rights.

Sarah

Hey, calm down.

Tanner

Don’t fuckin tell me to calm down.  I have to go to court, and watch as some asshole tries to get me thrown in jail.  It’s fuckin bullshit.

Rashid

Well, at least you get to defend yourself.

Tanner

*sarcastically* “Well at least you get to defend yourself”.  Shut the fuck up.  Come on Sarah, let's get out of here.

Hank

What about dinner?

Tanner

SHUT UP HANK!

Sarah

No, Hank’s right, I told him and Rashid I would get dinner with them, we have been planning it for a week.

Tanner

I don’t care, didn’t you hear me?  I have to go to court!

Sarah

I heard you, but I already have plans. I’ll see you later.

Tanner

What the fuck? Have you gone stupid? I don’t want you hanging out with tweedle dee and tweedle dipshit here.

Hank

Why are you such an asshole, Rashid and I haven’t done anything to you.

Tanner

I told you to shut up, Hank! (Tanner flips the table, the gerbils cage shatters)

Hank

Playdough! (runs to grab his gerbil but Tanner picks it up first)

Tanner

Why do you even fucking have this thing?  You are a fucking child Hank. 

Sarah

Give him his gerbil.

Tanner

No, he needs to grow up. (shakes Playdough, Hank tries to charge him but is pushed back and trips over table)

Sarah

That’s it! I must have gone fuckin stupid for putting up with you this long. You really are a monster! Get out of my house!

Tanner

Are you serious? You can’t fuckin tell me to leave we’re dating.

Sarah

Not anymore we’re not.  Now get out of my house before I call the cops.

Tanner

You can’t break up with me! I just got fuckin sued!

Sarah

Get out of my house. It’s over!

Tanner

NO! If you break up with me I will kill myself, I already might be going to jail, you are all that I have that I care about.  Without you, I’ll kill myself, Ill take a shotgun and blow my fuckin head off!  Spray blood across the wall and call it art! (He throws Playdough as hard as he can against the wall, Playdough explodes, there is blood)

Hank/ Rahid

NO! (Hank runs over to pick up what remains of his gerbil, he is sobbing)

Sarah

You’re terrible, LEAVE! GO! GET OUT! IM CALLING THE COPS! (Starts slapping Tanner)

Tanner

NO! You’re coming with me and we are going to talk about this. (Grabs Sarah’s arm)

(Sarah screams)

Rashid

(Rashid advances) Let her Go/

Hank

No fuckin way.

Tanner

Sit your dumbasses down. 

(Tanner  throws Sarah toward the door and steps forward and punches Rashid in the face. Rashid falls.  Hank jumps onto Tanners exposed back and begins to choke him from behind.)

Get off you son of a bitch.

Hank

(Hank is still in tears) How could you, you son of a bitch!

(Sarah comes over and kicks Tanner in the chest, knocking the air out of him, he falls with Hank still choking him,  Sarah bursts into tears a`s Tanner goes limp.

Hank

Rashid! Rashid. (goes over to body which isn’t moving) Sarah, call 911!  Why! Why would he do this?

Sarah

You were right…. He is a monster.

(Blackout)

Gerbils and Monsters: Text
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