Onstage Tuesday Fall '19
Scene - Wisdom’s Lair
(In front of the curtain)
Enter The narrator
The Narrator: Hello Everyone, Welcome to the show. I am your narrator, so you
better listen to me. Our story begins in the lair of our villain, Wisdom.
(Open Curtains on Wisdom’s Lair, Wisdom is standing center stage)
Wisdom: Did it just get drafty in here?
The Narrator: Wisdom likes to kidnap cats and people and feed them to his
di…(Wisdom starts moving around his lair) HEY! No moving while the narrator is talking!
Don’t make me use my yeti spray on you! (Narrator brandishes yeti spray, Wisdom freezes)
(Narrator goes and stands far downstage left)
Wisdom: I’m so bored. What do you think we should do today, Hungry?
(DINOSAUR NOISE OFFSTAGE) If you could talk and be civilized I
wouldn’t have to keep you in the dinosaur pit. But no, with you it is always, “ROAAAR, CHOMP, CHOMP,, ROAR.”
The Narrator: Dinosaurs are terrible housemates.
Wisdom: I have to feed you all the time, you know sometimes I think you fell in
that pit on purpose.
The Narrator: It had; dinosaurs love being pampered.
Wisdom: What do you have to say for yourself?.............. Oh, nothing as usual.
The Narrator: Hungry was a bad companion, and it made Wisdom feel lonely.
Wisdom: (Angry) I’m not lonely!
The Narrator: And grumpy.
Wisdom: You’re grumpy! I’m going to go and find something to feed to my
(Wisdom exits stage right, Curtains Close)
Scene - Forest
(Front of Curtain)
Narrator: Meanwhile, In the forest by Wisdom’s lair, the cat, Tricksy, looks for her
superhero friend, Stripey.
(curtains open. Foxy is center stage)
Tricksy: (From offstage) STRIPEY! STRIPEY!!! (ENTERS Stage) STRIPEY!!! (Sees Foxy) Oh hello, you’re not Stripey.
Foxy: No. I am not. It seems you’ve gotten lost.
Tricksy: Kinda. I’m looking for my friend Stripey. She’s a superhero. My name is
Tricksy. What’s your name?
Foxy: Nice to meet you, lunch. My name is Foxy.
Tricksy: Lunch? No. I said my name is Tricksy.
Foxy: Whatever you say, Lunch.
Tricksy: You think I’m lunch? OH. Oh NO! HELP! (Foxy starts advancing and
Tricksy starts backing up)
Stripey: What’s going on here?
Tricksy: She’s trying to eat me.
Stripey: Is that true?
Foxy: I wouldn’t normally try to eat a cat, but I haven’t eaten in weeks…(looks at
them hungrily) just listen to my stomach.
(stomach growl noises.)
Stripey: Please don’t try to eat us, I’m sure some other food will come around
Foxy: I’m sorry. I’m so hungry right now I could eat an elephant. (Foxy jumps
forward, Stripey and Tricksy jump back.)
Stripey: Don’t worry Tricksy. I’ll save us with my Cute EYES! (Uses cute eyes on
Foxy: Awwww. So cute. (STOMACH GROWL OFFSTAGE) Ahh so hungry.
Stripey: Wow, she must really be hungry to be fighting this level of cuteness. Quick, Tricksy, be adorable.
(Tricksy is adorable, and Foxy’s hunger is vanquished.)
Foxy: Awww. You two are the cutest things I’ve ever seen. I could never eat you
Stripey: Oh thank goodness, because we have an even bigger problem. The villain
Wisdom is out hunting again and… (Wisdom enters dangling two pieces of string) oooooooo what's that?
Stripey and Tricksy: I’m going to get it.
Wisdom: Come on, get the string, get the string…(Exits the way he came, followed
by the two cats)
Foxy: Hey. What just happened to my two best friends? Where are they going?
(Stomach growls again) Maybe there is food there. (Chases after them)
Scene - Wisdom’s Lair w/cage
(Wisdom has Stripey and Tricksy on strings)
The Narrator: Wisdom had captured these cats before, he was…(Wisdom and the
cats start moving) HEY! I warned you. (Narrator sprays them with the yeti
spray and they freeze in place.) As I was saying, these are tricky cats, Wisdom is going to have to be very careful or they will escape. (Narrator steps aside, but the other actors still can’t move or talk) Oh yeah. (Narrator unfreezes group).
Stripey: Oh, I almost got it that time.
Tricksy: It’s like it knows right when to move.
Stripey: I think I know where it’s going.
Tricksy: I barely missed.
(Wisdom throws Stripey’s string into cage- Stripey follows it. Wisdom closes cage.)
Wisdom: Hey, look at that, you got the string.
Stripey: NO! Tricksy, it’s a trap. Ignore the string.
Tricksy: Don’t worry, I’ve almost got the string.
Wisdom: Muahahaha. You know she can’t escape the power of the string.
Narrator: Cat’s really like string. Try it at home.
Stripey: I’m just going to escape again, I always escape.
Wisdom: I don’t think so. This time, I used duct tape.
Stripey: Oh no.
Wisdom: Now, you wait here while I go feed your friend to my housemate Hungry.
Stripey: Are you still trying to drop people in the pit with the rope?
Wisdom: You bet! I love the rope method.
Stripey: With the candle that burns through the rope really, really slowly?
Wisdom: Of course, that way I don’t have to use anything sharp.
Narrator: Be smart, keep yourself safe.
Stripey: How long does it normally take for the candle to burn through the rope?
Wisdom: Oh a while, usually like a scene, maybe a scene and a half.
Tricky: I’m gonna get the string.
(Wisdom exits followed by Tricksy)
Scene - Wisdom’s Lair w/Stripey in Cage
Narrator: Stripey could break out of a normal cell in no time at all, but this one had
duct tape on it. Duct tape is no joke.
Stripey: Fur and Whiskers! I have to save Tricksy!
(Enter Foxy, Diamond, and Alexa)
Foxy: (Her stomach growls very loudly and she grabs her tummy to show its
Stripey: Over here, quick. Help get me out of here.
Diamond: Are you okay?
Alexa: How can we help?
Stripey: Get the duct tape off the cage. We don’t have much time. You wasted a
whole scene just getting here.
Narrator : It’s true, a scene and a half could be any time now.
Foxy: Where is Tricky?
Stripey: Wisdom took her that way, you have to save her.
(Enter Wisdom , Foxy exits right past him)
Wisdom: Hey, whats going on here?
Alexa: Got the duct tape off.
(Stripey bursts through cage)
Wisdom: HEY, stop doing that.
Diamond: You stop kidnapping people.
Alexa: I think he’s actually a cat burglar?
Stripey: He’s a catnapper!
Diamond: Yeah, No more Catnapping!
Wisdom: It’s not my choice. I have to feed the dinosaur. It lives in my house.
Stripey: You have cages in your house for prisoners. That makes you the bad guy.
Wisdom: It’s a dog crate…
Tricksy: OH NO! Foxy saved me, but when she did. SHE FELL INTO THE
(Dinosaur and Fox Stomach noises from offstage)
The Narrator: Yep, we’re doing this like a greek tragedy. I wonder what all that
noise is? I guess you’ll have to use your imaginations. I bet it’s really over
Tricksy: NO!!! FOXY!
Stripey: Oh now you’ve done it. That was our friend.
Wisdom: You’ll never be able to defeat me, I can go invisible. ( Goes invisible)
Stripey: What? How am I supposed to get him now?
Diamond: Stand back, I’ll handle this.
(Everyone takes a step away and Diamond goes invisible)
Tricksy: Where is everyone going?
Alexa: They are invisible.
Wisdom: I’m going to get you now. (Diamond and Wisdom both fight the air near
them. Nobody should be standing anywhere near the invisible people onstage)
Diamond: You’ll never see me coming.
Stripey: What’s happening? I can’t see a thing.
The narrator: (Everyone freeze) This went on for some time. (Everyone unfreezes)
Wisdom: (clearly tired) No. you give up.
Diamond: Yeah right, I’m winning.
Alexa: How can you know?
Foxy: I’ve never been so full in my life. What’s going on here?
Everyone except Wisdom: FOXY! (Wisdom and Diamond stop being invisible)
Tricksy: You’re okay?
Stripey: Did you eat the dinosaur?
Foxy: Yeah, did you know they had feathers? Tastes like chicken.
Wisdom: You ate, Hungry?
Wisdom: Oh…. Now who will I talk to?
Stripey: That’s the least of your problems. It’s time you paid for all your
Tricksy: Yeah! You had two cat naps TODAY!
Alexa: And you thought you could get away with it.
Diamond: We’re going to see to it that you never catnap again.
Wisdom: That’s fine. If I don’t have to feed the dinosaur there is no reason for me
Stripey: Oh, don’t think you’re getting away that easy. You are our prisoner now. We are going to check up on you every day.
Tricksy: Make sure you aren’t up to something.
Alexa: And you will have to feed us when we visit with delicious milks….
Foxy: and gingerbread men. I love eating gingerbread men.
Wisdom: Ok, that’s fine. Can I leave the house?
Diamond: Sure, just make sure that the milk and gingerbread men are here when
we stop by.
Narrator: And that my friends is how the dinosaurs went extinct. It is also the story of how Wisdom got cats…. And a fox….. And a spy…. And lived happily ever after. THE END!